Can Muslims shake hands with the opposite gender?

A new colleague extends a hand at a meeting. A teacher greets parents at the school gate. A neighbor reaches out to say welcome. Muslims meet this moment every day and often wonder whether taking that hand is haram. The scholars have differed on it. The stronger view is that a handshake between a man and a woman, given as ordinary courtesy and free of desire, is halal. A Muslim who prefers not to shake hands is also following a respected opinion, and both deserve kindness.

Is it haram to shake hands with the opposite gender?

No verse of the Quran mentions handshakes between men and women. The Quran’s guidance on modesty speaks of lowering the gaze and guarding chastity (24:30–31), which concern desire. It also commands graciousness when someone greets us:

وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُم بِتَحِيَّةٖ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحۡسَنَ مِنۡهَآ أَوۡ رُدُّوهَآ

“When you are greeted with a greeting, answer with a better one, or return it.”

Quran 4:86

The handshake itself is a beloved Muslim greeting. The Prophet ﷺ said that two Muslims who meet and shake hands are forgiven before they part (Sunan Abi Dawud 5212, graded sahih by al-Albani).

The Sunnah also shows that ordinary physical contact without desire was part of life in Medina. Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:

«كَانَتِ الأَمَةُ مِنْ إِمَاءِ أَهْلِ الْمَدِينَةِ لَتَأْخُذُ بِيَدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَتَنْطَلِقُ بِهِ حَيْثُ شَاءَتْ»

“Any young servant woman of Medina could take the Messenger of Allah ﷺ by the hand and lead him wherever she wished.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6072

What about the Prophet’s ﷺ pledge with the women?

The main evidence for the stricter view comes from the pledge of allegiance (bayʿa) that the women of Medina gave the Prophet ﷺ. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that he took their pledge by words, and that his hand never touched the hand of a woman in it (Sahih al-Bukhari 7214). When women asked to take his hand in the pledge, he told them, “I do not shake hands with women; my word to a hundred women is like my word to one” (Sunan al-Nasāʾī 4181).

Many scholars, past and present, conclude from these reports that shaking hands with a non-relative of the opposite sex is forbidden. That is a recognized and widely held opinion.

Other scholars read the same reports more narrowly. They describe what the Prophet ﷺ himself did in a formal oath of allegiance, and he gave no command to others in them. Another Companion, Umm ʿAṭiyya, described the same pledge and mentioned that one woman “withdrew her hand” (Sahih al-Bukhari 4892), which some commentators took to mean that hands were extended. The Prophet’s ﷺ own restraint, chosen for himself, does not by itself make the act haram for everyone.

What did the scholars say about shaking hands?

The Hanafi school, the most widely followed in the Muslim world, permitted shaking hands with an elderly woman, since desire is absent. Al-Marghīnānī (d. 1197) records in al-Hidāya that Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) used to shake hands with the elderly women of the tribe that had nursed him as a child. The reason the jurists gave, the absence of desire and of fear of temptation (fitna), is the heart of the matter.

Building on this reasoning, Shaykh Yusuf al-Qaradawi (d. 2022) concluded in his Fatāwā Muʿāṣira that a handshake between a man and a woman is permissible when it is free of desire and of fear of temptation, and that it is best kept to occasions of need, such as greeting relatives and in-laws. He advised the cautious believer to let the other person offer a hand first, and then to return the handshake.

The Quran tells the Prophet ﷺ to “hold to forgiveness and enjoin what is customary” (خُذِ ٱلۡعَفۡوَ وَأۡمُرۡ بِٱلۡعُرۡفِ, 7:199), and the jurists made custom (ʿurf) a source of law in matters like greetings. Where a handshake is the ordinary greeting at work, at school, and among neighbors, it carries the meaning of respect and nothing more.

How should Muslims handle handshakes in daily life?

• Shake hands with a clear heart. If you take a hand in courtesy, without desire, you are acting on a sound scholarly view.
• Decline gracefully if you prefer. A warm smile, a nod, or a hand placed on the heart, with a word of explanation, keeps the greeting kind.
• Do not embarrass anyone. Withdrawing from an offered hand abruptly can wound a person. The Prophet ﷺ was the gentlest of people, and gentleness is part of every ruling.
• Never judge another Muslim’s choice. Whether someone shakes hands or not is no measure of their faith. Policing others is its own wrong (Is it haram to harass women about hijab or religion?).

These questions arise most at work and in friendships across genders and faiths; see Can Muslim men and women be friends?, Can Muslim women work?, and Can Muslims be friends with non-Muslims?. Affection between people who love each other is a different question (Is kissing before marriage haram?).

A closing word

A handshake is a small thing, and the Prophet ﷺ promised forgiveness in it. Whether you extend your hand or place it on your heart, let your greeting carry peace, for the greeting of the people of Paradise is salām (10:10). May Allah make every meeting of yours a means of mercy.