Does the Quran allow a husband to hit his wife?

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Hitting a wife is haram. The Quran describes marriage as a bond of love and mercy and commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness. The Prophet ﷺ never once struck a woman, and he said in clear words that men who beat their wives are not the best of his community. One verse, Quran 4:34, has long been read as permitting a husband to strike his wife, and that reading deserves a careful answer. Read alongside the rest of the Quran and the Prophet’s ﷺ own conduct, the verse gives no one license to harm a wife.

What does the Quran say about how husbands treat their wives?

The Quran sets the terms of marriage in verses that leave no room for violence:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـٔٗا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرٗا كَثِيرٗا

“Live with them in kindness. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.”

Quran 4:19

The word maʿrūf means what every decent person recognizes as right. Even a husband who has come to dislike his wife is told to treat her well. Another verse forbids keeping a wife in a marriage in order to hurt her:

وَلَا تُمۡسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارٗا لِّتَعۡتَدُواْۚ وَمَن يَفۡعَلۡ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدۡ ظَلَمَ نَفۡسَهُۥ

“Do not hold on to them to harm them and so transgress. Whoever does that has wronged his own soul.”

Quran 2:231

And the Quran names the purpose of marriage: that spouses “find rest in one another,” with “love and mercy” placed between them (30:21).

How did the Prophet ﷺ treat his wives?

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) gave the clearest testimony:

«مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ وَلاَ امْرَأَةً وَلاَ خَادِمًا»

“The Messenger of Allah never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant.”

Sahih Muslim 2328a

He made kindness at home the measure of a person:

«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي»

“The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.”

Jami’ al-Tirmidhi 3895

He told the men of Medina, “Do not beat the female servants of Allah.” ʿUmar then complained that wives had grown bold with their husbands, and the Prophet ﷺ allowed it; soon many women came to his household complaining of their husbands, and he said, “Many women have come to the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands. Those men are not the best of you” (Sunan Abi Dawud 2146, graded sahih by al-Albani). He also asked how a man could whip his wife as one whips a slave and then lie with her at the end of the day (Sahih al-Bukhari 5204).

When the Prophet ﷺ was displeased with his wives, he vowed to stay away from them for a month (Sahih al-Bukhari 1910) and raised his hand against no one. His own response to marital discord was distance and time.

What does Quran 4:34 mean?

Quran 4:34 speaks of a wife’s nushūz, a serious breakdown in the marriage, and lists three responses: counsel, separate beds, and a third expressed by the verb wa-ḍribūhunna. The next verse calls on both families to send arbitrators to reconcile the couple (4:35).

The root ḍ-r-b carries many meanings in the Quran. It means to travel (“when you travel in the land,” 4:101), to set forth a parable (“Allah sets forth an example,” 66:11), and to strike. The scholars differed (ikhtalafa al-ʿulamāʾ) over its meaning here.

The classical reading and its limits

Most classical jurists read the word as striking, and then hedged it with limits that empty it of violence. Al-Ṭabarī reports that Ibn ʿAbbās, asked what a strike “that is not severe” meant, answered: with a siwāk, a small tooth-cleaning twig, or the like. Imam al-Shafiʿi is reported to have said that striking is permitted and not striking is better. The Meccan scholar ʿAṭāʾ ibn Abī Rabāḥ, one of the Successors, went further: “He does not strike her, even if he tells her something and she ignores him; he shows her his displeasure.” Ibn al-ʿArabi (d. 1148) quoted this in his Aḥkām al-Qurʾān and commented, “This is from the deep understanding of ʿAṭāʾ.”

Readings of separation

Many modern scholars read the verb as a call to separate. AbdulHamid AbuSulayman argued in Marital Discord (2003) that the word here points to a longer separation between husband and wife as a way to resolve the dispute, in line with the Prophet’s ﷺ own month of withdrawal. Laleh Bakhtiar rendered it “go away from them” in The Sublime Quran (2007).

The sound position

The sound position is that striking a wife is haram. On the separation reading, the verse never mentions hitting. On the classical reading, it grants at most a reluctant permission that ʿAṭāʾ and al-Shafiʿi already advised against, and that the Prophet ﷺ never once used. Such a permission, which harms the body and the trust between spouses, cannot stand against the commands to live in kindness and not to keep a wife for harm. The objectives of the sharia (maqāṣid al-sharīʿa) protect life, body, and dignity, and the Prophet’s ﷺ example is the Quran lived. Reading a verse through the whole Book in this way is explained in How should the Quran be interpreted?

What can a woman do if her husband hits her?

• Get safe first. Call your local emergency number or a domestic violence hotline, and go to family, friends, or a shelter.
• Know your rights. Harm (ḍarar) is grounds for ending a marriage. The Maliki school gave a wife the right to a judicial divorce for harm, and every school recognizes khulʿ. See Can a Muslim woman divorce her husband?
• Seek merciful counsel. An imam who tells you to endure abuse is contradicting the Sunnah. More guidance is in What does Islam say about domestic violence?

The same principles apply to every member of a household; Islam’s teaching on children is set out in Can Muslim parents hit their children?

A marriage of love and mercy

وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجٗا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةٗ وَرَحۡمَةً

“Among His signs is that He created spouses for you from among yourselves, so that you might find rest in them, and He placed love and mercy between you.”

Quran 30:21

May Allah make every home a place of rest, protect every wife and husband from harm, and fill our marriages with the love and mercy He placed there.