Can Muslim parents hit their children?

If a parent is hurting you, call your local emergency number. In the US, young people can call the Childhelp hotline at 1-800-422-4453; in the UK, Childline is at 0800 1111.

Many Muslims were raised with the slipper and the belt, and some were told it was the Sunnah. It was never the way of the Prophet ﷺ. The stronger view (al-rājiḥ) is that Muslim parents may not hit their children. The Prophet ﷺ never struck a child, a woman, or a servant, and he taught that gentleness (rifq) adorns everything it touches. Children are a trust (amāna) from Allah, and the Sunnah shows how to raise them: with tenderness, example, and patience.

Did the Prophet ﷺ ever hit a child?

He did not. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), who lived with him for years, said:

«مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ وَلاَ امْرَأَةً وَلاَ خَادِمًا»

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant.”

Sahih Muslim 2328a

The only exception she named was fighting on the battlefield. Anas ibn Mālik came into his household as a boy and served him for ten years, and he said that the Prophet ﷺ never once said “uff” to him, nor asked him, “Why did you do that?” or “Why didn’t you do this?” (Sahih Muslim 2309a).

The Prophet ﷺ prayed while carrying his granddaughter Umāma on his shoulders, setting her down when he prostrated and lifting her when he stood (Sahih al-Bukhari 516). When a man boasted that he had ten children and had never kissed one of them, the Prophet ﷺ answered, “Whoever shows no mercy will be shown none” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997). And he gave a principle for every home:

«إِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لاَ يَكُونُ فِي شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ زَانَهُ وَلاَ يُنْزَعُ مِنْ شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ شَانَهُ»

“Gentleness is never in anything without beautifying it, and it is never taken out of anything without disfiguring it.”

Sahih Muslim 2594a

What about the hadith “hit them for prayer at ten”?

Sunan Abi Dawud records: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven, strike them over it when they are ten, and separate their beds” (Sunan Abi Dawud 495, graded hasan sahih by al-Albani). Many classical jurists read this as permitting light discipline over prayer, and they hedged it with conditions: only after years of teaching, never on the face (the Prophet ﷺ forbade striking the face, Sahih Muslim 2612a), never in anger, and never in a way that wounds.

The stronger view reads the report in light of the Prophet’s own conduct. In a society where beating children was common, it confined any striking to one matter and one age, after three full years of gentle instruction. Its goal was a child who keeps the prayer. The Quran shows how that goal is reached, in the words of the sage Luqmān to his son:

يَٰبُنَيَّ أَقِمِ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَأۡمُرۡ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ وَٱنۡهَ عَنِ ٱلۡمُنكَرِ وَٱصۡبِرۡ عَلَىٰ مَآ أَصَابَكَ

“My dear son, keep up the prayer, urge what is right, forbid what is wrong, and bear patiently whatever befalls you.”

Quran 31:17

Luqmān calls his son yā bunayya, “my dear little son,” and teaches him with reasons and love. Research in child development has found that physical punishment does not produce lasting good behavior and is linked to aggression, anxiety, and damaged trust; the American Academy of Pediatrics advised parents against it in 2018. When a means destroys the very goal it was meant to serve, a love of prayer and of Allah, the objectives of the sharia (maqāṣid al-sharīʿa, مقاصد الشريعة) close that means.

What did Muslim scholars say about harshness with children?

The historian and judge Ibn Khaldun (d. 1406), in his Muqaddima, gave a section to the harm of severity toward students. He observed that children raised under harsh treatment lose their spirit, grow lazy, and learn to lie and deceive to escape punishment. The Quran said the same of the Prophet’s ﷺ own community:

فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةٖ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمۡۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّواْ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَ

“By a mercy from Allah you were gentle with them. Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have scattered from around you.”

Quran 3:159

How can Muslim parents discipline without hitting?

• Teach by example. Children learn prayer by praying beside their parents (How to pray in Islam).
• Praise more than you correct. Notice what your child does well, and say so.
• Explain the rule and its reason. Luqmān gave reasons; children deserve them too.
• Use calm consequences. Loss of a privilege, a pause, making amends.
• Step away from anger. The Prophet ﷺ said that one who is angry while standing should sit down, and lie down if the anger remains (Sunan Abi Dawud 4782).
• Be just among your children. Favoritism wounds as deeply as a blow (Is it haram to have a favorite child?).
• Apologize when you get it wrong. A parent who asks forgiveness teaches repentance (tawba) better than any lecture.

What if my parent hits me?

You deserve safety. Honoring your parents never requires you to accept harm (Do I have to obey my parents?). Speak to a trusted adult, such as a relative, teacher, or imam, and use the helplines above. Violence at home is a wrong that Islam condemns (What does Islam say about domestic violence?).

A closing duʿāʾ

The prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) prayed for his children to love prayer, and asked it of Allah:

رَبِّ ٱجۡعَلۡنِي مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِيۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلۡ دُعَآءِ

“My Lord, make me one who keeps up the prayer, and my children too. Our Lord, accept my prayer.”

Quran 14:40

May Allah make every Muslim home a place where children are safe, loved, and drawn to Him by mercy.